


The variation of fundamental constants

by WendyJoly



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-17
Updated: 2014-10-17
Packaged: 2018-02-21 14:03:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2470862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WendyJoly/pseuds/WendyJoly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Ninomiya kazunari discovers Sho Sakurai's personnal view about their sexual's life he finds a way to stay by his side...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The variation of fundamental constants

Title: The variation of fundamental constants  
Author: WendyJoly  
Pairing: Sakurai Sho/Ninomiya kazunari/Ohno Satoshi  
Rating: NC-17  
Length : One shot  
Beta : Tons of sweets to [](http://hotaru649.livejournal.com/profile)[**hotaru649**](http://hotaru649.livejournal.com/) for her wonderful work ^-^  
Genre: Romance, smut and love  
Disclaimer: I own nothing but Arashi owns surely my soul

Summary: When Ninomiya kazunari discovers Sho Sakurai's personnal view about their sexual's life he finds a way to stay by his side...

  


I can’t understand how it came to be.

 

I can’t understand how it came to be.  
When did we throw away all the rules we learned since we were kids, when did we decide that our desires were the most important thing for us? Nothing prepared me to this kind of situation or so I thought. So…why?  
Perhaps it has always been there, perhaps I’ve always belonged to this…I don’t know.  
I don’t know anything anymore.  
All this mess began with a very happy night.  
I go out with my boyfriend since 2 years ago and last week we officially moved in together. We organised a big party for the occasion, friends, colleagues, my brother and his sister…  
I knew most of them, of course, but it was the very first time we would host them in our brand new apartment. To be frank I freaked out. I’m not very self-confident and I would have preferred a little dinner around a table with 5 or 6 guests at a time. But Sho…Sho is so different. He’s rich, smart, open, cheerful and has a lot of friends. He’s like a magnet, attracting every person he meets and I am not an exception. I fell in love with him at first sight, at the very moment his sister introduced us to each other.  
I’m a salary man and Sho’s sister is my boss since I was hired in her company. I attended that awful annual dinner for Christmas day, alone of course, the only single man amongst those joyful couples. I was trying to escape when I came across him in the entrance of the restaurant. It was cold outside and he wore one of those huge scarves, I could barely see his eyes above the woollen material.

 

“Are you leaving?” He asked me as if we were friends. I looked at him dumbfounded, unable to understand why he spoke to me, did we already met?  
“I am leaving, yes.” I can’t help but be polite even with a perfect stranger.  
“Why?”  
“W…Why? I don’t know, because I have to leave.”  
“Is someone waiting for you?”  
“No, not really.”  
“So… stay”

 

He came to see his sister. I stayed and I never left him since that day.  
He’s the man of my life, the one made for me, he’s my everything.  
I was so tense this morning that I left for work without a kiss, just a word on our pillows, wishing him a good day.  
When I come back home, the night began to fall and the house is already full of people. They greet me, hand me a beer, some are already drunk and I hardly make my way through the corridor into the living room.  
Sho is in the middle of the room and smiles at me the moment he sees me. He’s talking with one of his many friends, a famous rapper, I can’t remember the name.  
Oh yeah, I forgot to tell. He’s a well-known rap producer…hmm, me neither, I can’t understand by what happy miracle we are together.  
He takes me in his embrace and introduces me to the man. I leave them chatting passionately and go to the kitchen where my brother is working. He made the buffet for tonight and once again, I can only admire his skills.  
We talk about anything and everything and the party goes on quietly. I come and go, get to know my new neighbour, invited for the occasion, a pretty guy (but who knows it) named Ohno.  
People are leaving one after the other and after a while only a little group of our usual friends is left. When I go to bed, its past 4 o’clock and I’m working in 4 hours. I try to sleep but I just can’t when Sho is not by my side. I go back to the living room where he’s conversing softly with Matsumoto and Toma. I don’t know why, but when I hear his voice I stay hidden behind our bedroom’s door. He seems so happy.

 

“So, that’s it, you’re a married man now.” Says Jun.  
“Yeah, almost. But…I love him.”  
“Wow. You’re so cute together.”  
“Don’t mock me. I mean it.”  
“I know, I know, but I never thought a Don Juan like you could be so reasonable, so straight.”  
“I’ll do anything for Nino. He’s the man of my life.”

 

I feel my heart pounding hard in my chest. Of course, I knew that he loved me, but hearing him saying it to his best friends, it’s completely different. It sounds like paradise.

 

“Ok…you deserve a medal for that. But…”  
“But?”  
“The day you’ll find a pretty one, another one, like this cute guy I saw tonight, this Ohno…”  
“I love Nino.”  
“I get it, I think everybody gets it, but I’m talking about sex, not love.”  
In this moment, I just want to punch this guy. How can he be so inquisitive and doubt of Sho?! But I simply wait my man’s answer.  
“I guess, I’ll find a way…”

 

I stand still, astonished, unable to move or talk. What does he mean by ‘find a way’?!  
I step back silently and lay down in our bed, light off. I’m chocked, sincerely, my heart races fast, I can barely breathe, as if I just discovered my lover was cheating on me. I hear the others leave the apartment, I feel Sho beside me, kissing my nape. I just stay still, pretending I’m sleeping and soon I can hear him snoring loudly. But I can’t sleep at all and it’s still dark outside when I leave.  
I drink a coffee in a bar, watching the world go by while mine is collapsing and all the day I can’t do anything else but think again and again about what he said. ‘I’ll find a way’. Which way?  
I come back home early and play at video games, trying to forget all these thoughts, this awful angst twisting my stomach harshly. Then I cook the meal for dinner, a nabe full of vegetables my brother brought me yesterday.

 

“Hi, babe.”

 

He’s in my back and kisses my neck, passing his arms around my waist lovingly.

 

“Hi, Sho…”  
“Something came up?”  
“No…of course, not. Why do you ask?”  
“You seem so stiff in my arms.”  
“I’m just tired because of yesterday. I had a bad dream.”  
“Yet you seemed to sleep very well, you didn’t even notice me when I came to bed.”

 

I can’t answer, I can’t forget his tiny little sentence, it obsesses me terribly.  
We eat silently and I blame myself, because I can’t tell him, I’m too afraid to ask any question. I don’t want to hear his answer; I’m not ready for this, because I know there will be no turning back.

 

“How was your day? Bad?”  
“Not so bad.”  
“Listen, Nino…”

 

I stand up and he grabs my wrist, bringing me on his knees.

 

“Baby… Kazunari.” He whispers softly as he strokes gently my cheeks. “What’s happening? You look so bad, did I do something wrong, tell me, please.”  
I don’t want to look at him in the eyes but I can’t escape his gaze, he seems so worried.

 

“I…I heard what you told to Matsumoto last night. When you thought I was sleeping.”  
“What…what did I tell to Matsumoto?”  
“About sex with another one. That you will find a way. A way for what?”

 

He smirks awkwardly but soon smiles seductively.

 

“A way for nothing, I was drunk! Don’t worry about this kind of bullshit…you know Jun…you know me when I drink too much.”  
“A way for what, Sho?” I dare to ask. I can’t do as if nothing happened, as if I didn’t hear that or it would haunt me every time he will be far from me, every time he will be travelling for work.

 

I slide from his knees and sit on the couch far from him, my knees against my chest.  
He goes to the kitchen, takes a cup of coffee and comes back in the living room. Suddenly, he doesn’t seem so confident. He drinks in silence, without looking at me then he puts his mug on the table.

 

“Come on Nino, you know what I meant.”  
“No I don’t, so please, help me understand.”  
“I love you. You know how much I love you. But…having sex with the same person for the next 50 years?! You really think it’s possible?”  
“Of course, I think it’s possible, my parents~”  
“Your parents are an exception. And you don’t know everything. Perhaps he or she found someone else and whatever, they are still together, they are still in love. Just like I love you.”  
“I…can’t believe what I’m hearing. You’re serious?”  
“Sex is wonderful with you, no one never made love to me like you do, but…”  
“But?”

 

He stabs me again and again but I can’t give up. I want to know.

 

“Don’t tell me you never found someone attractive since we’re together.”  
“Of course, but I never thought to be unfaithful.”  
“And me neither. I never cheated on you.”  
“And you never will?”  
“…”  
I stand up swiftly, go to the entrance and take my coat.  
“Nino where are you going?”  
“I need a moment to think about all this…mess, alone.”  
“But you will come back?”  
“…don’t wait for me.”

 

He grabs my shoulder, turns me back forcefully.

 

“It’s insane! You can’t leave like that, I just…It’s just a thought, not a fact! You can’t leave me like that, fuck!”  
“I thought we perceived our couple in the same way, but I was wrong. I need time.”  
“What for?”  
“To know if I want to be part of this kind of couple. You hurt me.”  
“So do you, now.”  
“Good night Sho, I will call you.”

 

I close the door behind me, quietly and I run into the neighbour. That’s my luck…  
We take the elevator together and he doesn’t say a word. But when the door opens, he puts his hand on my arm lightly.

 

“Ninomiya-san?”  
“Yes?”  
“Are you alright?”  
“Not really. Good night Ohno-san.’”  
“Ja.”

 

We’re not friends, barely acquaintance, I can’t talk to him about what's happening to me right now. I take my car and go straight to my brother’s place.  
He’s married, has a kid, a little boy and he’s not only my brother, he’s also my best friend, my best advisor, the man who believed in me even when nobody else would have.  
He lets me in without a word and I go in my nephew’s room to kiss him goodnight then I go back downstairs.  
Masaki is sitting at the table, two beers in front of him.

 

“Becky is not here?”  
“She’s working. An emergency with an injured dog.”  
“Crap.”  
“Na…She loves her job and these kind of situations. So, what’s happened?”  
“I left the house tonight.”  
“You broke up with Sho?!”  
“Not really. Perhaps. I can’t tell.”  
“Wait, wait, wait. Slow down. Yesterday, you were all lovey dovey, so what’s happened?”  
“I heard a discussion between him and Matsumoto. About cheating. I talked to him this evening and basically he told me it was not a big deal, it was just sex…”  
“Did he cheat on you?”  
“No, he said that he didn’t and I believe him. He said no one can be faithful for the rest of his life.”  
“But he didn’t cheat on you?”  
“No! How many times do I have to tell you?!”  
“So what’s the problem? It’s just a point of view. Plus, he’s right.”  
“Not you, please, tell me you’re faithful.”  
“I am, but I can’t swear I’ll never fall for another woman, I can’t assert my wife will not fall in love with another man one day. I’m not a fortune teller, neither you. ”  
“Masaki, I can’t…I can’t live with the idea that he’s going to cheat on me one day.”  
“The fact he was so frank with you is a good point. He could have just told you it was a misunderstanding, and you would have believed him, ne?”  
“…”  
“Would you prefer to live with a liar? He’s still the man you fell in love with, it’s just a divergence of opinions and you can’t throw your life as a couple away because of that. Be an adult, talk to him. And...Maybe you’ll be the one to fall in love with someone else.”  
“Bullshit…”  
“You never know.”  
“I know.”  
“You’re just a kid.”  
“And who are you?”  
“I’m your elder brother. So you will go back home and you will talk to him, to explain your point of view. You suffer from a sort of inferiority complex with Sho, you always thought he was too good for you, and naturally, you freaked out! He’s a clever man, he will understand. And…Oh~”

 

Someone is knocking at the door. Masaki jumps on his feet and opens it. Sho is on the threshold and his sad gaze breaks my heart. I have the feeling I didn’t see him since years.  
Masaki keeps the door open and I take my coat.

 

“Let’s go back home.” I just say to Sho. “Thanks aniki.”  
“You’re welcome. And call me tomorrow, ok?”  
“Ok.”

 

We sit in my car and I drive us home in silence. I have so many things I want to say, but I just can’t. Words are stuck in my throat, I feel bad and I blame myself for being so emotional.  
We’re in the elevator and he looks at me miserably, apparently waiting for the moment I will accept to talk to him. I unlock the door and he follows me in. Finally, I hear his sulky voice in my back.

 

“Nino, I didn’t want to hurt you, I’m so sorry, I can’t live without you.”  
“And you will not have to.”

 

I open my arms and he runs to me, kissing me wildly and pushing me against the wall. His hot hands are running on my skin, quickly lost under my T-shirt. I toss it on the floor and he places my legs to his waist. I feel his erection against mine and I already can’t think no more. It has always been like this between us. Our attraction is too big, almost animal, too uncontrollable for us to resist. I wrap myself around his body and he carries me to our bedroom, throwing me on the bed roughly. It’s hard for me to breathe, I want him so bad. I need to be reassured, to be fulfilled, to feel his skin against mine, to feel him in me.  
He strips and I watch him avidly, he’s so beautiful when he’s naked. In a kick, I take off my jeans, my underpants, then I stretch my arms far above my head.  
He laughs and comes to me, widening my legs with one knee. He looks at me intensively, seriously.

 

“Will you forgive me?” He whispers at my ear. “I didn’t mean it, I never really thought about it before. But…it’s so obvious. I don’t want to lose you and if you need a vow I’ll make it.”  
“Hush…make love to me. Please.”

 

I kiss him again and again, teasing his desire, making him forget that we argued just a few hours before. I want him to forget everything but us, everything but our love in this very precious moment. As he thrusts in me, I realize how much he’s right. I can’t live without him, it’s as simple as that. And if it means I have to endure jealousy, I’ll do it. Because he loves me deeply, like I love him and I can’t predict what will happen tomorrow. I just have to enjoy each moment we are living together.  
Another stronger thrust chases my thoughts away. He comes and goes mercilessly in me and I’m already in heaven.  
In a smooth movement, I roll on him, take him deeply in me. Then I roll my hips slowly from right to left enjoying each of his groans, adoring the way he says my name endlessly, the way his hand caresses my virility softly, gently, at my pace.  
He grabs my hips firmly and I feel his fingers pressing deeply in my skin, forcing me to ride him at a faster pace. He straightens up and cries his orgasm at my ear. I can’t hold mine any longer and I spread my semen on his stomach violently. Finally I’m appeased and I can think straight again, everything seems so clear now, in the blur of our post orgasm.  
I lay down next to him, stroking his sweet belly with my hand.

 

“Sho…”  
“Hush, we don’t have to talk about it right now”  
“But I want to. I thought about it. A lot. And…I understand. It’s not really the fact that you sleep with someone else, it’s just that…I don’t want to feel left behind.”  
“I’ll always be yours.”  
“Yes but…I have a proposal for you.”  
“Tell me.”  
“If you meet someone, someone you like…I want you to tell me…I want to be part of it.”

 

He raises his eyebrows as a sign of perplexity.

 

“You want…?”  
“I want to be with you. With both of you.”

 

He doesn’t answer but kisses me harshly and once again he takes me, harder this time. Is he thinking about my proposal? Is he already imagining it's not just the two of us? I can’t tell but I don’t give a shit. I can accept everything to keep him stay and to be frank I’m dying to know if this is the only possibility that will prevent us from adultery.  
When I wake up, my body hurts like hell but I smile at my reflection in the mirror.  
I kiss Sho’s back and leave for work. Once again I come across my neighbour. But this time, he’s opening the door to his apartment and I can’t control my smile seeing his clothes. Flashy and sexy, a curious mix for an early morning. As I walk in the corridor, he calls me.

 

“You seem to be alright today, Ninomiya-san.”  
“I beg your pardon?”  
“Yesterday when we were in the elevator you were so gloomy, but today you’re smiling, I guess things have been fixed with Sakurai-kun.”

 

I don’t get how he gets right to the point, but anyway it’s none of his business. I nod politely and call the elevator.

 

“Excuse if I seem to be inquisitive, but… I just care about you.”  
“You don’t know me. We don’t know each other. ”  
“That’s the point precisely!” He comes to me and leans against the wall next to me. But why it takes so long for this elevator to arrive? “Listen, I’m new in Tokyo and I feel a bit lonely sometimes. I guess, I need someone to show me the town, someone friendly. Will you~”  
“I can’t, sorry. I’m very busy because of my job and I have no time to go out.”  
“Ok. At least, I tried. Have a good day.”  
“The same to you.”

 

It’s just me or is he really strange? How can he talk to a stranger so freely? Of course, he was invited to our party but it’s not enough to act like an old friend, is it?  
I totally forgot this little scene until the moment I come back home and find him on the couch. On MY couch. He waves at me briefly and I smirk awkwardly. Sho is looking for something in the fridge and he hands me a bottle of white wine.

 

“Hi love, can you take 3 glasses please?”  
“Why is he here?”  
“I invited him. He’s new in town and he doesn’t work tonight, it’s a good occasion.”  
“A good occasion for what?”  
“To know him! Why are you so hostile?”  
“I don’t know, he’s just…a weirdo.”

 

He laughs and kisses me lightly, handing me the bottle. Unwillingly I return to the living room. Ohno is on his knees, staring at my stack of video games. I make some noise with my bottle to attract his attention. He turns back and smiles wide.

 

“You’re a real addict.”  
“And you?”  
“I’m a game freak. A manga freak. To be true when I love something I can’t get enough of it.”  
“Good for you.”

 

I don’t know what he’s looking for, but I have nothing to offer him.

 

“Satoshi-kun is a gamer, just like you.” Says Sho putting his hand on my knee. Satoshi-kun? Are we already there?  
“He…he just told me, yeah.”  
“So you told me you were from…?”  
“Kyoto.”  
“It’s a beautiful city, I go there from time to time for work.”  
“What’s your job?”  
“I’m a rap music producer and Nino is a computer engineer.”  
“You can fix a PC?!”

 

Is he always so happy or am I just a gloomy person?

 

“Of course, he can. He can fix anything.”  
“Would you save my life? My PC just crashed two days ago, I lost everything, my files, my photos, my music…”  
“If I can save your life…” Sho looks at me and makes a comical face I can’t resist. “Ok, I’ll help you.”  
“When?”  
“W…when?! I don’t know…”  
“Tomorrow?”  
“…Ok.”  
“By the way, what’s your job?” Asks Sho.  
“5 afternoons a week I work for the neighbourhood association and every night I dance in a club.”  
“In a club?”  
“Yeah, on stage. A night club. You should come, both of you.”  
“It’s not…”  
“We will come.” Cuts Sho abruptly.

 

I hate nightclubbing. And Sho knows it better than anyone else but I wait patiently the moment our neighbour leaves to raise the subject with him.

 

“He’s nice, you don’t think?”  
“I don’t like him. He’s too…how could I put it…is it normal to be so happy for everything?”  
“He’s not happy, he smiles easily. And he’s just sociable and friendly” He adds, taking me in his arms. Maybe he is right, I’m not a joyful guy and I’m suspicious with the men who are.  
“Maybe I’m overreacting. I’ll make an effort.”  
“You swear?”  
“I swear and tomorrow I’ll fix his PC.”  
“You’re an angel.”  
“My ass.”  
“Speaking about your ass…”

 

=+=+

The next evening, after work I knock at his door with a bottle of wine. He answers immediately and seems surprised to find me on his threshold.

“I'm here for your PC…You asked me~”

“Oh, yes, of course, come in.”

 

I follow him, take off my Converses in a smooth movement and put on the slippers he offered me.  
There’s a wonderful scent in the air. A mix of flowers and...what is this? Incense? It’s pretty and cosy. Absolutely not what I had imagined…but what have I imagined by the way?  
His apartment is almost woman-like. Tidy and neat, grey and beige colours everywhere, the atmosphere is very appeasing.  
I put the bottle on the kitchen counter cautiously and turn back to face him. He has a laptop in his hand and gives it to me.

 

“What for, the bottle?” He asks me pointing the wine behind me.  
“To apologize I guess. I was very rude with you. “  
“Don’t mind. If you can help me with the laptop, I’ll owe you one.”  
“You were going out?” I just noticed he is dressed for a party. Black jeans and shirt, black tie, his low boots are waiting for him in the entrance next to my shoes.  
“Yeah, I was about to leave for work. I can’t be late. Do you mind if I leave you my computer?”  
“Oh, no! Not at all! I’m sorry if I~”  
“Excuse me.”

 

I feel like an idiot. Me and my bottle of wine, as if he were patiently waiting the moment I would be nice enough to knock on his door…  
I put my sneakers on and after a goodbye I go back to my apartment.  
I pour a mug of coffee and open his laptop. It’s always strange to put your nose in someone else's computer. It’s like all their life was there. What they love, what they hold on to, what is precious for them, what they want to hide to the rest of the world sometimes.  
Naturally, it’s pretty reluctant to work and I’m drinking my third mug when finally the logo Toshiba sparkles. It was not a piece of cake, but I love that.  
I can only be impressed seeing his layout, a ballet dancer who seems to be floating in the air, his face as if touched by grace.  
I watch briefly the content, the files, to check if everything works. But before long, I’m fascinated by what I discover. For the most part, it could be my own laptop. The same kind of music, the same animes, same kind of movies…it’s totally insane. Sho is travelling for work and all night long I sneak shamelessly in my neighbour’s life. To be frank, I really wait for him. I’m sure he will come and claim his PC, but the dawn comes and he’s not here.  
I sleep two or three hours and I just have the time to take a shower before going to work.  
In the evening, I wait in vain and almost a week goes by without any news.  
Surprisingly, I realise how much I can’t wait to see him.  
We have so many things in common, I already consider him as a friend. But he’s nowhere to be seen not at home, neither in the corridor nor in the elevator. Where is he?  
Sho finds me spacing out from time to time but I can’t explain him. I can’t tell him I looked through Ohno’s laptop so intensely. I’m not very proud of myself to be true.  
And one evening he’s here, at home with Sho, chatting vividly about…I don’t care what. He’s here.

 

“Hi…”

 

I look at him with incredulity, it’s strange, I feel as if I see him for the very first time.

 

“I fixed your laptop.” That’s all I can say. What a jerk.  
“Yeah, Sho told me. Thank you! Actually, I didn’t though it was possible, you’re a genius.”  
“No…it’s not…You’re welcome.”  
“Satoshi-kun wanted to invite us to his club. To thank you. Tonight.”  
“I just came back from work. I’m not dressed for going out.”  
“Take your time. It opens only in two hours.”  
“Ok.”  
I’m cornered. I can’t tell I’m happy to go to this night club, but part of me can’t wait to talk to him, to be with him.  
I can’t really understand what the link between us is. There’s probably nothing, it’s just in my head but I can’t help thinking that if he’s the weirdo I though he was, I’m certainly a weirdo too. Sho never saw this guy in me, the man I really am. I’ve always thought I was a kind of impostor with him, that one day he will finally realize it and kick me out of his life. As my brother told me, I suffer from an inferiority complex, I’m perfectly aware of it but since I saw this laptop of his…everything changed. Maybe I am not the only one of my kind? Maybe there’s someone to understand me, not my brother who grew up with me, but a stranger, my neighbour…?  
I dress up and when I get out of my bedroom, Sho is alone in the living room, working on internet.

 

“Satoshi’s gone. We’ll join him there.” He answers at my silent question.

 

I can’t help seeing his gaze on me. I’m sure he suspects something, so why does he keep silent?  
The club is located in Shibuya and it’s an area I’m not very familiar with. Too many people, too many drunkards, too many shallow night clubbers, I’m far better at home with my video games and my PC.  
It’s an overcrowded place, of course and…it’s a gay club. I can’t say I didn’t suspect it but somehow I hoped it would not be the case. I’ve got very bad memories of these kind of places from the time I was single and I looked for company for the night or for a few hours. Nothing I wish to remember today…  
I feel Sho’s hand grasp mine and he leads me to a round table. It’s smoky and dark but people are really quiet, abnormally quiet. We find a place in a corner and as soon as we sit down, the lights fade out and the music starts. A languid and rhythmic music. Fuck. Before I realize it, Ohno opens the big curtain on the stage and begins to dance under a big reddish spot of light. He wears a black suit, a hat and a cane. In the middle of the stage a chair is set and I can’t get my eyes off him. He’s just fascinating as he dances. It’s a kind of magic and a quick glance to Sho confirms my impression, he feels it too. He takes off his clothes but that is not the most erotic part of the show. It’s far worse and better than that. He’s just…sensual. Every movement he makes is erotic, every roll of his hips is like an appeal for sex. Does he even realize it?  
I feel Sho’s hand on my thigh, finding his way to my crotch and I just feel the urge to escape. I need some fresh air…I stand up abruptly and find the restroom which is absolutely empty. That’s my luck. I put water on my face and take my time to slow down my imagination. My excitement. It’s too much for me and I wait for the hard bulge in my pants to decrease significantly. How can I admit the effect he has on me? How to admit it to my lover?  
When I go back to Sho, Ohno is next to him and they are talking discreetly like old friends.

 

“You didn’t feel well?” He asks me with a smile.  
“Yeah. No. I can barely breathe here. It’s too smoky.”  
“But you saw my show?”  
“The beginning, yes.”  
“Do you want to dance?”

 

He indicates the dance floor where the clients are now gathered.

 

“Dance with me?”

 

He stands up and takes my hand after a glimpse to Sho who nods immediately.

 

“I’m not good for these kind of things…”  
“Come on, I’ll guide you.”

 

He takes my hand forcefully and leads me to the centre of the dance floor. The DJ is playing electro music and I can’t move at all. I’m petrified, unable to make the first move. He turns around me graciously and I freeze a little bit more.  
I’m trying to escape when the music changes for a slow R&B piece. He looks at me, playfully and puts his arms on my shoulders, intertwining his fingers on my nape.

 

“Where were you?” It’s just a whisper in my mouth, barely perceptible.  
“I was in Kyoto, my mother was ill. I had to take care of her.”

 

I can’t get why he answers so easily, it’s none of my business, I have no right to ask for any explanation to him.

 

“I wanted to call you but I didn’t have your number.”

 

I nod briefly, trying to avoid his caring gaze.

 

“Did you miss me?” I can hear his smile even if I can’t see it.  
“I…fixed your laptop…I checked it…the files, the photos, the texts…I’m sorry, I couldn't help myself.”  
“Did you like what you found?”  
“Yeah…a lot.”

 

He doesn’t answer but puts his two hands on my hips and he slides his leg between my thighs. I dive in his eyes and my heart is pounding like hell in my chest. What’s happening to me? I don’t recognize myself, it’s so far from who I am. But I can’t deny the fact that he rocks me, he moves me like I’ve never been by anyone else except Sho.  
I feel his breath on my neck and I know what’s next. His lips are already on my skin, I can feel his tongue at the back of my ears.  
I step back.

 

“I can’t. Sorry. I’m in love with Sho.”  
“I know. So?”  
“Isn’t it obvious? I can’t do this too him.”  
“… He’s not against our relationship.”  
“You talked about it? Both of you?”  
“More or less.”

 

I can’t believe it. Once again I feel like a fool. I go back to the table and take my jacket then go out of the club.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

Sho is running after me and grabs my wrist. I hail a cab and he follows me in.

 

“What’s happened with Satoshi?”  
“How do you think I can take the fact you talked about our sexual life with him?”  
“Holly shit…You’re twisting my words.” Suddenly, he seems angry, frustrated. “Do you even realize the way you look at him? The way you’re looking at each other? There’s something between you and him, it’s obvious.”  
“And so? I see him like a friend, what’s the problem?”  
“You can fool everybody but not me, Kazu. I know you too well. You want him.”  
“And so? If it was really the case?”  
“…You can have him. You can have both of us.”

 

I keep silent for few seconds, trying to put things in perspective.

 

“I…when I told you I wanted to be part of it if you found someone, it wasn’t a request! I don’t want a threesome, it was purely hypothetical!”

 

We are now in our apartment and our discussion goes on endlessly. But I don’t want to debate about it anymore, I just shut myself away, sitting on the sofa, my knees against my chest.  
A light knock at our door and suddenly Ohno is in our living room. He looks at us clearly embarrassed and sits down in an armchair.

 

“Sorry I didn’t want to create havoc between you two.” He says after a moment of awkward silence.

 

What can I say? I can’t deny the fact that I’m tempted, but…

 

“Kiss me.”  
“What?!”

 

Sho puts his palm on my neck and kisses me gently. I take a glimpse at Ohno who’s watching us but Sho doesn’t seem to care. He kisses me more deeply and I finally close my eyes and enjoy the sweet caress.

 

“You just have to let yourself go. That’s all. Relax and enjoy, my love.”

 

I open my eyelids when his mouth leaves mine and I figure out he’s kissing Ohno.

 

“Are you uncomfortable with that?” He questions, looking at me.

 

I lightly shake my head negatively. Ohno approaches me and kisses me at his turn. No, I’m not uncomfortable with that, even if I can feel Sho’s gaze on us, it’s just more exciting. He’s sweet, sensual but demanding at the same time. I feel his tongue against mine, spreading an intoxicating a taste of beer and cigarette in my mouth. I groan when Sho’s hand strokes my thigh and touches my semi hardness. Ohno leaves my lips and kneels between Sho’s legs.  
They stare at me waiting for an approval that I can’t refuse. I watch Satoshi opening Sho’s belt and his zip, putting on him a condom and taking him between his beautiful lips. Sho closes his eyelids but Ohno doesn’t take his eyes off me. As I hear Sho’s grunts, as I watch Satoshi coming and going on his length I can’t tell where I wish to be.  
At Sho’s feet? In Satoshi’s mouth?  
I just open my jeans to find some relief and I throw all my prejudices away. I kiss Sho fiercely and drink his groans of pleasure, finding my own pleasure under his skilled hands. It’s a pure moment of bliss and lust, each of us discovering the delight of this sweet surrender.  
I hide my face in Sho’s neck feeling my orgasm overwhelming me, peeping Satoshi and finding in his eyes what I need to explode in my lover’s hand. Soon after he does the same in his condom and I look at my beloved Sho, our lover, totally astonished. I can’t believe what I’ve done, what we have done, it was so good, so liberating.  
Ohno stands up and I can clearly see the bulge at his groin.

 

“I think…it’s time for me to leave.” He whispers.

 

I look at Sho and I slip the hand in Satoshi’s belt, dragging him to me. I unzip his black pants quietly and with a finger, put his underpants aside.

 

“Nino, you don’t need to~”

 

I shred the little packet and put a condom on his full erected virility refusing to listen to his protests.  
I can hear him hiss a first ‘holy fuck’ as I suck his extremity briefly. I raise my gaze and I see his face twisted with pleasure. It’s a powerful aphrodisiac and I become suddenly audacious. I take him between my lips as far as I can and I can feel Sho’s hand in my hair, encouraging me. He’s soft and hot on my tongue, it pulses and moves, growing more, hushing my own moans of desire. Sho moves behind him, slips his hands under his T-shirt to raise it up and kisses him softly.  
This is the very moment when I finally realize why it feels so natural between the three of us. Why I don’t feel guilty or like a pervert. It’s sweet and soft, full of tenderness as if Sho and I had made a place for Satoshi in our couple. A little place into our love.  
He tries to warn me but I don’t care, I release him in an obscene pop and lick strongly, repeatedly the little spot under his cock's head, Sho’s favourite sensitive spot. As he releases his pleasure in the condom I can feel his hotness on the tip of my tongue.  
I take it off and throw the plastic protection in the bathroom’s trashcan.  
When I come back in the living room, Satoshi is nowhere to be seen and Sho is smoking at the window.  
I put my cheek between his shoulder blades and my arms to his waist lovingly.

 

“He’s gone?”  
“Yeah, he had to go back to work. How do you feel?”  
“Surprisingly good.”

 

He laughs and turns back, taking me in his embrace.

 

“But it doesn’t mean we will do it again. Even if it was…”  
“Great?”  
“Great.”  
“Amazing?”  
“Amazing, yeah…”  
“Are you tired?”  
“Do I want to go to bed, is that the real question?”  
“Exactly.”  
“Once again?!”  
“Exactly. I can’t get enough of my man.”  
“Come on lover boy~”

 

But we did it again, again and again.  
  



End file.
